The Time I Did Not Meet Daisy Eagan Because I’m Actually an Idiot

Warning: This gets dramatic for really quickly for no reason, so be prepared


I have recently discovered a little phenomenon called “the Stage Door”. I think it is super fun and exciting if it is done properly. I do know and recognize that some people can sometimes be crazy and that can cause situations of anxiety or stress, but overall, I have had fun times throughout my experiences. Except for yesterday, where I made an utter fool of myself and it still haunts me, more than 24 hours later and have an awful cringe attack every time I recall the moment. That is basically why I am writing it all out now, so that I can get it out of my system and finally move on. At least I hope I can move on. If you are not really a theatre person, you probably will not know who Daisy Eagan is. In 1992 Tony Awards, there was a musical called “The Secret Garden” that was nominated for Best Musical. While the Secret Garden didn’t win Best Musical, one of the actresses who was in the musical, Daisy Eagan, won the Tony Award for Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical. Daisy was 11 years old and to this day still holds the title of youngest female performer to win a Tony. Flash Forward to 2016 and Daisy has returned to the touring production of “The Secret Garden” but now as one of the older roles. Which is both fun and fan girl worthy. I do not want to say that I see a lot of shows in my life time but I will not ignore the fact that in the past few years, I have seen at least 2 a year. So I have seen enough to keep up with some of the more intense Broadway people but I still consider them a rarity and a treat (also deep in my heart, I know I will always be a Cast Recoding girl). So when I got this wonderful opportunity to see the Secret Garden with a close Broadway friend, I was beyond excited. Then, I almost peed my pants when I learned that Daisy was performing that night. The friend who I went with is what I like to consider the Broadway twitter queen (also, I should mention now that I have never used twitter before/ do not quite know how it works so bear with me for the next part). Before the show, she had apparently casually tweeted at Daisy for fun saying that we were at the show and would love and appreciated it if she had the time to appear at the stage door to say hi. We were then very shocked and excited when Daisy tweeted (twatted?) back saying she would be there. So after the show, we ran directly to the stage door and waited in an eagerness that might have embarrassed my mother if she had been present.

Now, what I am going to express in the next few sentences is going to make me seem like the most horrible person in the whole theater community-world right now but I need you all to know that I am very aware of this and I hate myself for it already. But it is the best justification that I got (if we can even call it that). So… seeing a person on TV or on stage or even seeing their picture in a program is very very very very different than seeing them in person. I am a huge feminist and so this part hurts me so much but I will force myself to keep writing for the sake of my terrible confession. They can also look very different with and without make up on. Wait! I should specify STAGE make up. (Hi, sidebar me again: I think and believe with all my heart that all people, men and women both, should have the open and honest choice to wear makeup or not without any fear of judgment whatever their decision maybe. I also to mention that I put make up on most days and know for a fact that I look quite different with makeup compared to when I and having a makeup free day. It’s okay. I’m not saying that is bad or good. I’m also not saying anything about beauty or standards. I am just saying matter-of-factly that I definitely look different. Okay back to the story). So when after watching her amazing performance on stage as Martha, and after starting at her headshot in the program… when Daisy finally stuck her head out from behind the stage door….I, for the life of me, could not recognize her.

I know! I know! I actually want to crawl up in a fetal position under my chair right now, hope my computer dies and then takes the story with it. So, she looked at us expectantly, literally right into my eyes, but then after seeing our confused faces moved along. She stayed for a while too talking to others before finally going home. Then we get a tweet saying oh so politely saying that she didn’t see us at the stage door. And then we realized and wanted to kill ourselves. Oh. My. God. I actually smacked myself in the head stupidly hard because I deserved it. How did that happen?!?!?!? I am still so mad at myself (if you couldn’t tell). So my confession is put in words for the world to read about now and I am taking this opportunity to put myself out there and grovel. I actually feel horrible about this for multiple reason and I know plenty of people (including my parents and some closest friends) will tell me that this really is not that big of a deal and how I’m acting kind of crazy and that I actually need to calm down and I will…. after I get this all out. And it’s not just because I didn’t get to meet Daisy (which in itself is already terrible disappointing) but also the principles of non-recognition and lack of paying attention and cockiness that took over my body in the moment that I cannot shake. So to all that is good and forgiving, I bow my head in sorrow and utter endless apologies and penance and hope for the love of everything that I can have self peace and acceptance for my stupidity. And finally so I maybe can listen to the cast recording of the Secret Garden and cry from the beautifully gorgeous music and not from embarrassment and cringing. Because it is actually amazing.

Putting the Fuse in Confused