A.Y.

I have not been able to get over the sudden death of the Actor Anton Yelchin and it took me a while to realize why. This has been a very bad year for loosing beloved celebrities, some of my favorites too. I liked Instagram pictures of people who showed homage, I had plenty to say when talking around the water cooler at work and I watch award shows segments on YouTube when a singer performed some form of tribute. I felt sad. I thought about their friends and family and how hard it must be to have their recently deceased loved ones in the spotlight. But I never really got why I saw people actually sobbing on the streets over someone who they didn’t actually know. I outwardly sympathized but on the inside I was lowkey thinking that that they were being overly dramatic. But when Yelchin passed, I finally got it. No, I did not start crying, but my sympathy to those who did became empathy. Celebrities get a lot of crap now-a-days. They are seen as talentless snobs who are all about the money. I am definitely not famous in anyway and I do not known anyone who is famous so I feel that I cannot make a comment on this. However, when I listen to music that moves me, or watch a movie that physically make my body react, I feel a strange connection to the people on stage or on screen. I am able to loose myself to my emotions, crying from both laugher and sadness. It makes me feel real. It reminds me to be myself. Yelchin was one of the few actors that was able to do that for me. No, he wasn’t a big actor and he wasn’t as famous as some of these other stars in the news but when I watched him on the screen, I felt his honesty and pure passion. I admired him and sought to watch any movie of his I could get my hands on. So while I did not know him personally, I feel like I did know him. And I cannot believe I won’t ever see him in another movie again. That I won’t feel that connection again. And that somehow broke my heart when I finally contemplated the news of his passing. So much so that I had to write this all out. I had to get it out of my system. Thank you A.Y. I will miss you.

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