Why V-day is my D-day

I promise, it’s not what you think. My parents have owned a Flower Shop for my entire life, so Valentine’s has always been seen as a sort of dark day in my history. It is the holiday that I have always worked because in our family, this day means all hands on deck because it’s about to be a battlefield and I wish I was exaggerating about this. Did you know that people go actually insane when it comes to flowers and February 14th? When I was younger, I would just watch from a distance and never really had to get involved but now that I am much older and have actually worked behind the register, I have seen the insanity up close and personal. Sometimes too personal.

I have learned that there are two types of flower buyers when it comes to Valentine’s Day. The people who go all out and the people who don’t know how much flower cost. The first are the people who buy 2 dozen red roses, boxes of chocolates, cards, balloons and bears and then need help from multiple people carrying it all out. The second are the people who ask for a dozen red roses, I tell them the price and then they ask for just one instead (but to wrap it up really nicely). I even remember telling one gentleman the cost of his order then him telling me that he wanted to look at our cards for a moment. I watched him glance at me over his shoulder a few times and when he thought I wasn’t looking, walk right out of the store and never come back.

I have also learned that there are two types of general human reactions when it comes to Valentine’s Day. The people who are okay when they don’t get there way and the people who completely loose there shit when things don’t go their way. The first are the people who come late on Valentine’s Day, see were are out of the significant other’s favorite flower, sighs, picked out an arrangement from what is left in our cooler and then grab a business card on their way out, promising to call ahead next time. The second are the people who run in 5 minutes before we close, see we don’t have what they want, make a nasty comment about how the situation is our fault, storm out only to return a minute later and demand one of the arrangements we have left.

This Valentine’s Day, I had a man who took home a vase filled with 40 red roses, one for each year he’s been married to his wife and then soon after I had a lady complain to my face that she didn’t want the bouquet I suggested to her because it was ugly. I had someone buy a huge arrangement for his spouse and then three individual roses for each of his daughters and then someone who argued with me because an arrangement she wanted was $30 and she only wanted to pay $15. I had someone who brought a half dozen vase arrangement to the counter and then right before I rang it up, ran and got the dozen instead saying “She deserves this one” and then someone who demanded to switch out red roses for white and then complained that it looked different (to which I wanted to scream “it’s because they ARE DIFFERENT!”).

It may seem that there are lot of terrible people out there but in the defense of the customers, the second person in each of the situations is actually the same person (yeah, she was a real peach). For the most part, people are horribly romantic and wonderful. It amazes me how far people will go to show someone just how much they love them. Not just in the material sense but symbolically as well. They say that love brings out the crazy in people. But what happens when people are already crazy?

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Putting the Fuse in Confused,

C

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