Almonds and Cheerios

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. I turned just glare at my father as he ate another almond, slowly and deliberately. I love my father dearly  and he is an overall wonderful human but at that very moment I had to really restrain myself from swatting the jar of almonds in his arms and yelling “No snack for you!” You see, I have recently gone back to school and had just gotten this really obscure assignment from my cell biology professor which was to pick one of the cell structures we were studying in class and make a diagram of it using household items and foods. It was one of those things that at first I said “Oh, that’s simple!” but then after the hours past and I just found myself staring at half a piece of toast, a handful of cheerios, and various bit of candy from many Halloweens ago. I was back living at home and I hadn’t asked for help on homework since early in my high school years but I thought I would give it a shot. “Hey Dad, do you have any ideas?” Dad walked in and looked at the mess I had just made in the kitchen. “What are you doing?” I gave him a run down. “When is it due?” “Tonight.” He gave me that sigh that only a father can give to his procrastinating daughter. I knew I had put in off but in college, I put things off all the time and all I needed was a Red Bull and a box of cookies to get through it. I also mentioned this to Dad, which in retrospect probably didn’t help my argument. After some back and forth, slight bickering with Dad he finally said e would help. I started to arrange my candy and Dad reached into the Pantry and pulled out a big jar of almonds. “Oh Dad, those would be perfect for the kinases! Thanks” Dad looked me straight in the eyes, reached his hand in the jar, ate a hand full of almonds very slowly as we stared each other down. Then he put the lid back onto he jar and put it right back into the pantry. I could have gone mental but decided to be the grown up in the situations.

I rolled my eyes and grabs the almonds myself before continuing with my diagram. I turn to put the jelly bean phosphates into pace when I hear another bone chilling crunch. I turn and see dad’s mouth filled and half of the Cheerios that were lined up to make my plasma membrane gone. “Dad! The box of Cheerios are right next to you!” He just shrugged and reached for the membrane again and I quickly swat his hand away. This goes on for a while for all the snack food I display. My father had this quirky way of playfully annoying us but this was going was too far, at least in my opinion. I finally set my diagram up and took the damn picture. Then I turned to Dad and said “Okay, go ahead, eat as much of it as you want.” He shrugs again. “No thanks.” I could actually feel my knuckles turning white. “Well thanks for nothing. You were no help at all.” He cocked his head to the side. “Wasn’t I though?” I turn back to my finished diagram that took me less than an hour to set up. Then I consider the hours I had been working on it before Dad showed up. Every time Dad ate a part of my project the more motivated I was to finish it before he ate another part of the cell. “You’re welcome.” was all he said as he casually walked out of the room whistling and I knew that I had both won and lost at the exact same time.

Putting the Fuse in Confused,

C

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