On Second Thought…

Recently I find myself saying the phrase, “On second thought,” to myself much more often. It’s dumb really. I feel that if I just took the extra 5 seconds to think before I say or do something I wouldn’t feel as regretful on a daily basis. And when I say daily, I do really mean daily.
For instance:
Just the other day I was having a very casual conversation with my boss. I work with chemicals so I was asking him about the bottles labeled “Explosive” and “Flammable”. “Do I need to be extra careful with theses? I assume there is special protocol.” I say. “Not necessarily.” He replies. “Yes, use extra caution but very few to none the compounds we have in this lab are likely to react without an excess of force. I would be super impressed with anyone who actually make something explode in the lab. That would be either a huge mistake or a freak accident.” “That’s good to know.” I say back and then continue with. “But I will say that if someone were to make something actually explode it would probably be me. I’m very clumsy and accident prone and I feel that things like that happen to me all the time.” I could feel his worried eyes as I walked away laughing.
On second thought: I could have just nodded and said “That’s a relief” before walking away.
The last time I was at the mall, I was stopped by a Victoria Secret shop
employee as I meandered into the bright store with hot pink walls. “Hi ma’am, I see you checking out our newest designs. Do you wear our bras?” she asked sweetly, just doing her job. I think for a second, grab my collar, pull it out and look down my shirt. “Sometimes, but not right now.” and it that wasn’t weird enough, I grabbed my right strap and pulled it out of the shirt saying “This one is from Target.” Her face did this strange thing where her lips continued to smile but her eyes said “Please get me out of here.”
On second thought: I could have just said, “Yes, please tell me more about your new products”
And then yesterday, I was watching the news with my mom when a segment about the fashion industries and models came on. I watched about 10 tiny lady walk across the screen in silence until a pregnant model came on screen sporting her baby bump in all it’s glory. what got me what that she was still thinner than I am. “How the hell is she so skinny? It’s impossible to be that skinny.” I remarked very loudly to which mom gave me a really funny look. “What?” I asked. Her eyes darted down to my hands, as at the time… I was eating handfuls of feta cheese straight from it’s container.
On Second thought: I should have just stayed silent.
On Second thought to that second thought: I should really try staying silent more often.


Putting the Fuse in Confused,