Don’t Give Up

So this post is going to be a little bit different then my normal stories, just a warning. But it does start off with a confused situation. Typical. Long story short, last week most of my writing energy went towards a brief essay for a grad school application. So I wrote all about why I am the person I am today because of my most recent experiences and failures and how I learned to never give up because of it. You probably know the drill. As I finished the last sentence, I discovered to my despair that I misread the prompt. So my essay actually contained nothing they had asked for. Whoops.

But before I got too grumpy, I read it over again and realized that this little tale might actually serve another purpose. So instead of wasting a perfectly good story, I decided to share it to my little confused world. This story won’t be that funny and it won’t have any crazy, weird anecdotes, but it will have a lesson I learned. And maybe if someone reading this is going through the same situation, it will help in some way. Or at least make them feel better to know they are not alone.

“I will always remember my college graduation because that was when I thought everything in my life was finally falling into place. (I will also remember it because I was seriously ill, suffering from a peritonsillar abscess but that’s a story for another time). I was congratulated by so many people and told by everyone that this would be start of the next chapter of my life. Little did I know that this “next chapter of my life” was me staying in pajamas all day, watching TV shows by the season and eating cereal straight from the box. But why? I was a science major and science majors were high in demand (according to a Buzzfeed article I read 2 years ago), so why wasn’t I getting job offers left and right. When I look back at it now, my theory does sound pretty stupid. Regardless, I spent most of that summer frustrated. Why did I waste all this time studying and pulling all nighters to end up with nothing? I was supposed to be adventuring but instead, I was avoiding social gatherings just so I wouldn’t have to answer that dreaded question “So what are you doing now?” I remember fake laughing when neighbors made unemployment jokes at my expense. I remember lying to a friend about taking a gap year to travel. I remember crying on my birthday after receiving what seemed like my hundredth job rejection from promising prospect. Then I finally snapped and just gave up. I started to look for non-scientific jobs with the description: “some high school education required”. Almost immediately, I was hired as a receptionist at a small business and I was finally happy. Or at least I thought I was. But after 2 months of repeating the same phrases over and over again for 8 hours a day, I started to get that sinking feeling again. I found myself thinking about college, and I missed science more than I thought I would. At that moment I knew I had made a mistake, and finally got the kick in the pants I desperately needed so long ago. I have a different job now at a biotechnical company and on my first day, it actually felt like I had come home after an extended trip abroad. I feel that sometimes, life gives you a challenge because it wants you to know the feeling of overcoming. That time in my life will stay with me forever. I experienced a lot over those 5 months and looking back I still wouldn’t change a thing. Those experiences have become a part of me and for the better. I know what it’s like to fall down and give up. And I also know what it’s like to pick myself back and start walking again. It took some time, and I got some scrapes and bruises along the way, but eventually what goes down will come back up again. Hey, I should know. I’m a scientist.”

Putting the Fuse in Confused,

C

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