“The End”

With the new year upon us, it got me thinking about the end of things. Like end of 2014 and thus the beginning of 2015. But from there, I started to think about “The End”. Like the end of the world kind of end. Not that I think the world is going to end any time soon but there are definitely points in my life when I thought that MY world was coming to an end. This feeling normally comes up when something has happened that is so awful that it gives you that horrible stomach ache and makes you break out in sweats. In your own little world, you think the world is going to end. So in honor of the end of the year, I started to think about all of the times when I thought my life was coming to an end.

When I was 5, my brother gave me his helium balloon to hold for him. I accidently let go and it floated up into the sky. He was so angry at me, I thought I would never make it past that day. But the day did pass and he forgot about it by dinner time. When I was 7, we were at lunch and my friend asked if she could have one of my Cheese Puffs. I said yes and promised her that I would give her one. She went to the bathroom, I stopped paying attention and accidently ate all of them without realizing it. I started sweating so much my T-Shirt changed color. My friend came back and I started apologizing profusely. She shrugged it off, since she had forgot that she asked for a Cheese Puff. When I was 10, my dog ate almost all of my Halloween candy and then threw it all up. I actually thought my world was crumbling around me as I started at the chewed up candy wrappers and colorful vomit. When I was 12, I asked a boy to a dance and he said yes. He then spent the entire time with his friends because he forgot I asked him in the first place. I swore off men that day and told people I was going to be the cat lady that live on the corner of the street and would be so single and crazy that you would tell your kids to run past my house if you saw me coming to the window. (I give my younger self 10 points for creativity at least.) When I was 14, I walked into a really big locker and a kid next to me shut the door closed behind me and trapped me inside as she laughed and refused to let me out. I remember embracing death that day. When I was 15, one of my best friends moved away. I cried for days. Funny thing is she actually didn’t like me at all and was only pretending to be my friend. Yeah, I got over that once a lot faster than some of the others. When I was 17, I was driving my dad’s car and it brushed up against a pole taking a chunk of the bumper with it. I hadn’t been to church in years but man did I started praying hard that day. This way when my dad killed me, I wanted to at least have a shot at getting into heaven. And you’ll bet your bottom I prayed even harder when I popped one of the car’s tires 4 months later. When I was 18 and in my first year of college, I failed my first exam. I went that afternoon to the convenience store and ate almost an entire box of Chips Ahoy in my dorm room as I cried into my pillow. When I was 19, I almost failed my Organic Chemistry class. I actually went on Craigslist look up houses in Mexico to live in when I started my new life as a college dropout. You know, after I changed my name and burned off my fingerprints. And finally when I turned 21….. the world did almost end that day because at one point in the night, I actually did think I was going to die.

But the thing is, I survived all of those things and kept on going. So there’s a little message for all of you. When you think the world is ending and that nothing in your life is going to be good again, just remember that hangovers and helium balloons typically only last for a day anyway.

Putting the Fuse in Confused,



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